Holy hell that was one heck of a read. First off Boston, I seem to remember this being the truck that we had RAW fuel in the exhuast and several other strange things that no one had ever heard of and you magically went above all of the experiance and opinion from members here and got her running after tinkering with the settings on the ip. Well apparently that didnt last long.
http://www.oilburners.net/forums/showthread.php?53302-Tuning-Turning-Tweeking-the-IDI-7-3/page3
Now my best piece of advice for you is to go find someone who needs a diesel pickup and give this thing to them it will relieve you of a lot of headaches. I can not comprehend pouring 300 dollars into return line kits and still have them leaking. So to answer most every question you have posed in this thread so this post is at least a little bit helpful.
The return line kits are just as straightforeward as you have explained, lube the orings and put them on the injectors, next check the inside of the cap for trash or flashing, third pop the cap on the injector. make sure hoses are correct sizes as mentioned.
if that is what the cover looked like on that ip then yes it is shot.
if your fuel line is bulging you prob have to much fuel pressure. these trucks will run with as little as 3 psi fuel pressure, it is the volume that counts. google intellidog idi and you can find the numbers.
check return system for clogs going back to the tank.
check all glow plugs for continuity again ohm values can be found on the intellidog idi web site use only motocraft beru plugs(only ones I can reccomend with factory controller because they are the only ones i have ever used)
check all connections in the gp system clean and use electrical grease as neccesary.
an ether injection system is not worth the risk in my opinion, you still have parts to break or mess up and risk hurting the engine if someone doesnt know what they are doing with it. I have owned my idi for 6 years and have only touched the glow plug system once and all I did then was go through and test plugs and clean and grease connections
you can not weld the return ports in the injectors shut.
If you worked on the truck half as much as you posted you might have solved this problem way quicker. I am not trying to insult just trying to say that you were given multiple things to do and try that would help us diagnose and you went straight over those and moved on to reinventing the wheel.
Another thing that would seriously help us help you is to break your posts up and quit bouncing between subjects. use periods, commas, and spacing and im not trying to lecture you on correct punctuation but it does help to read your info.
Again do not take this as attacking you I am just trying to state my opinion and we all know what those are worth