I have a philosophy to live close to work so that you maximize your non-work time. And if you don't, change jobs or housing.
It works well for me, 20 mins to work, 20 mins back. Rarely any traffic. I LOVE IT.
And the more kiddos we have, the more important maximizing time is. Currently at 4 little ones, 9,6,3, and 6 months.
I'm in fairly population-dense western WA so that's a factor. In other areas maybe 40 mins is a great commute time, I dunno. I do know that it's common for people north of Seattle to commute into Seattle daily over an HOUR each way. That's bonkers to me.