What do I do???

[65sixbanger]

Well I would go talk to him but the cop said the other night he noticed this guy parked in his truck. When the cop went to talk to him, the guy had a shotgun in his lap parked a few houses down waiting for someone to do somethin to his house I guess. I am not the only kid this guy harasses, he lives four houses (about two hundred feet) from the high school. The principal told me to call the police if he ever came onto school property again, appaently he sent the letters to the office. Principal also told me this guy has been doin this for years but its never got this outta hand. To be honest I never did anything to the guy, but I have to take the blame for what my friends did once they heard what happened.

This guy knew where I lived before I ever brought him to my house, he has my plate numbers on every letter he has sent to me. I am not tryin to be a ********, and I wasnt tryin to get my parents involved, he was sitting in front of our house one day when my dad came home for lunch. Thats when my dad got involved cause he said stuff to my dads face that just isnt right.

I honesty dont care about the damage done anymore, but its just the fact that hes a lunatic. Oh almost forgot, he is 50 and still lives with his mom alone.

 

[GOOSE]

I have never served, but thank every person I come across who did. I can not/do not want to imagine some of the memories that our vets have to surpress, deal with or accept.

I usually have a three day cool down period I put myself through when I get really torqued about something. Think about the truck damages and the ins and outs of the whole situation. If you decide to talk to him after the three day cool down, be 100% certain that you can convey your message in a cool, calm, tactful manner. No matter what his response is, keeping your composure and thanking him for his time will show a quality character on your behalf.

I probably would not drive one of the vehicles that raised his blood pressure up over to see him. Asking to make peace and it would be in both of your best interests is a good way to put it. If things are going in a good direction, maybe an invite to breakfast would break the ice. Thank him for serving our country, and tell him that hey, you're a kid and simply do not make choices that make sense all the time however, you don't do drugs, (I assume), are not out to harm anyone, and would help a neighbor out any time needed. Finally, maybe you can ask him to see the truck, ***** the damage, and come to an agreement as how to fix it.

If things are not headed in the right directon, apologize for messing with him,give a thanks for your time, I do not want to engage in a conversation that is not going any where probably will suffice

 

[GOOSE]

Well I would go talk to him but the cop said the other night he noticed this guy parked in his truck. When the cop went to talk to him, the guy had a shotgun in his lap parked a few houses down waiting for someone to do somethin to his house I guess. I am not the only kid this guy harasses, he lives four houses (about two hundred feet) from the high school. The principal told me to call the police if he ever came onto school property again, appaently he sent the letters to the office. Principal also told me this guy has been doin this for years but its never got this outta hand. To be honest I never did anything to the guy, but I have to take the blame for what my friends did once they heard what happened.

This guy knew where I lived before I ever brought him to my house, he has my plate numbers on every letter he has sent to me. I am not tryin to be a ********, and I wasnt tryin to get my parents involved, he was sitting in front of our house one day when my dad came home for lunch. Thats when my dad got involved cause he said stuff to my dads face that just isnt right.

I honesty dont care about the damage done anymore, but its just the fact that hes a lunatic. Oh almost forgot, he is 50 and still lives with his mom alone.

didn't know this , maybe crossing your t's and dotting your i's in your neighborhood is best. Good luck.

 

[Death85e]

Ok I have been reading this thread all day long and i will not sit quietly by like i usually do on the vast majority of the threads posted only because i can relate to both parties involved in this and it is my belief that a little education can ( with luck ) help in a civil and respectful outcome for everyone involved.

I myself have been the pain in the ass brat that did and on occasion still does stupid **** to **** off people that irritate me including but not limited to smoking my tires in the drive or giving a little extra throttle to haze the clean air of some idiot that desperately deserved it in my mind.
However with that being said and with the knowledge and wisdom that comes with age and experience i have learned that in most instances respect is something that comes alot easier to those that also give it more freely until it is determined that it should not be.
The veteran that is involved is himself suffering from a mental illness which in my oppinion is probably the greatest reason that he acts the way he does. This illness may have been brought on by Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or it may be something that he has had his entire life i dont know and i cant tell simply because i have no knowledge of his medical history however i grew up with a father that was mentally ill and exhibited some of the same symptoms that the said veteran exhibits.
Dealing with someone that has mental illness is not something you do lightly or something you do without expert help.....how do i know this? I myself have mental illness and my family has seen and experienced the effects that it can have on them and anyone else involved.

I apologize for this being so long winded but my advice is to just let go of the past offenses on both sides and either attempt to reconcile all differences or just let it drop. By the veteran involved taking the initiative to report to the police his own actions i believe he was at the very least attempting to right a wrong he did to you....you can man up and say thank you to him for that giving respect to him and showing your the bigger man or you can make him pay by taking him to court...the ball is in your court but whatever the outcome please keep us informed.

Also the one thing that still shows that you are a teenager is calling someone names for something you do not understand and i hope you never never have to deal with any kind of mental illness in your own family! It is not something that is easy on the person that has it or the family and friends that surround them. the words crazy, lunatic, insane...etc...etc they are all words that are used for people like myself and many veterans that suffer from mental illness and they are hurtful and insensitive.

Mental illness is just that an illness and with proper medical intervention one can lead a somewhat normal life but without being educated on it a person can be seen as a threat to society and themselves when all they are are just another person struggling through life with personal demons they cannot get rid of on their own.

Anyway good luck on everything i sincerly it all works out good for everyone.

 

[88beast]

my 14 bucks here (had to take it) make him pay for damages to be fixed
make sure cops are involved kids annoy old people and i know im a kid i work with old people
also keep trouble away from home i agree there
but if he is a crazy vet you may be the "enemy" or something to him war can mess people up and theyre not something you want to mess with my uncle is a crazy vet and hes not too bad but still has flashbacks and such

the main thing is the cops will legally protect you and keep you and youre family safe
also if he has family living with him or close by make friend swith them theyll have some say in his actions

and guilt about reporting him self is not always the case most of the time you sober up and dont want the cops to catch you
the time is less if you admit to it

 

[plywood]

To be honest I never did anything to the guy, but I have to take the blame for what my friends did once they heard what happened.

Oh almost forgot, he is 50 and still lives with his mom alone.

I could be cutesy and nice here since you're a member and I'm trying to bite my tongue but the truth is, you did do something to him, you said so yourself you smoked him and you should have apologized in the first place for disturbing him with your driving even if you didn't mean to.

Burning your tires gets you to school slower, not faster. I've got three kids, try driving by my house like a maniac burning your tires.

If your friends did something to him because you told them the story your own way, you responsible for that too....

Who cares if he's 50 and lives with his Mom, that may get your young friends on your side in your locker room gossip talk, but not me.

Trust me, you'll get your chance to be a tough guy, I was in a worse situation than that Tom guy in the video, their were three of them and the little drunk big talker one grabbed my throat and I knocked him back so hard he made a hole in the wall with his head. I had done everything possible to be peaceful, but by that point I was in defense of life mode I went in to finish the job and one of his two 6' 7" friends pulled me off with one arm. To be honest if the guy died I wouldn't have missed one nights sleep since I was totally in the right, but if I'd been a punk, that's different.

Don't take this the wrong way, I'm just trying to be real with you instead of feeding your ego just to be a nice agreeable guy. My motto was I never started anything and I never did, but I was young and harded headed once too and there were times someone should've knocked me flat for not apologizing for my stupid mistakes.

Why we try and convince ourselves we're in the right when we're in the wrong when we are young I'll never know.

 

[runaway!]

Well I would go talk to him but the cop said the other night he noticed this guy parked in his truck. When the cop went to talk to him, the guy had a shotgun in his lap parked a few houses down waiting for someone to do somethin to his house I guess. I am not the only kid this guy harasses, he lives four houses (about two hundred feet) from the high school. The principal told me to call the police if he ever came onto school property again, appaently he sent the letters to the office. Principal also told me this guy has been doin this for years but its never got this outta hand. To be honest I never did anything to the guy, but I have to take the blame for what my friends did once they heard what happened.

This guy knew where I lived before I ever brought him to my house, he has my plate numbers on every letter he has sent to me. I am not tryin to be a ********, and I wasnt tryin to get my parents involved, he was sitting in front of our house one day when my dad came home for lunch. Thats when my dad got involved cause he said stuff to my dads face that just isnt right.

I honesty dont care about the damage done anymore, but its just the fact that hes a lunatic. Oh almost forgot, he is 50 and still lives with his mom alone.

Send him a letter back, seriously! Be cordial, apologize and thank him for his service. Then tread lightly, you have an obligation to be mindful of your neighbors - crazy or not.

 

[hesutton]

Well???? What did you decide to do?

Heath

 

[Agnem]

Sad situation. Jesus teaches us to turn the other cheek and love our enemies. Certainly the MOST DIFFICULT of all the options. It's right up there with eating right, getting proper amounts of excersize, and well... anything else in life that you really want (peace... prosperity... happiness). It offers the least amount of satisfaction, and has the longest pay back. Definitely not an instant gratification situation. I am taking this tact right now. I have a similiar situation. There is this 20 year old brat in my neighborhood who absolutely hates my guts. Funny thing is, I have no idea why. Probably because our neighbors don't like us (they are from the city, and we have made them feel uncomfortable on more than one occasion by trying to be nice to them) and he is the boyfriend of their daughter, so any displeasure voiced by her is probably magnified in his mind. He does stupid stuff like flip me the bird and stand in his front yard and stare at me when I'm going about my business. He WANTS to have an altercation with me. I can just tell. However, I continue to ignore him, and it is ******* him off endlessly. He may eventually try to do harm, but I haven't done anything back to him that would seem to want to push him across that line. Usually ignoring someone gives them time to really think about what they are doing and how bad they want to do it. Reacting immediately is always a bad option, as most humans are incapable of rational thought when confronted with a sudden situation that has multiple options. Your little puff a smoke is proof of that. You reacted. You didn't really think. The dent was over the top, but like my punk-assed little friend across the way, he reacted to your reaction. Don't have one. Just ignore it. Escallation is the only result. WWJD?

 

[GOOSE]

He does stupid stuff like flip me the bird and stand in his front yard and stare at me when I'm going about my business. He WANTS to have an altercation with me. I can just tell.

He has no idea about Super Mel, does he?

In a more serious note, this has been going on a while, hope things have calmed down a bit.

 

[timothyr1014]

i agree with alot of the sentiments expressed here...I have been in these situations several times (both as the punk-assed kid and the psychotic neighbor)....and in these situations there always seems to be some minor item in the past that festered to the point of escalating it to where it is, and you have become an outlet for all the baggage he is carrying.

Personally you need to decide if you are comitted to ending the fued...if you are here are a few of my thoughts. I am not saying this as an excuse for him, but more as a perspective check...as a vet he was willing to lay down his life for your freedom, this potentially caused the mental illness and the fact the he is alone without his own family... although I have not served, I know many men (and friends) who have taken great pride in there service to our country only to walk away alone and unappreciated when there term is over...dont be the one who does not appreciate what your freedom costs. That being said, I would go over thank him for reporting it to the police, and straight up acknowledge being a punk (the smoke you gave him). Make it clear you are not going to persue anything against him cuz you started this round of ******** and then ask him how the whole thing can end. The conversation may not go anywhere, and thats okay...but if you persue it right and ask him the right questions you may find a very cool (and probably very damaged mentaly and emotionally) underneath a very hard shell.

One of the neatest guys I ever knew came from a relationship like this...for 8 year he was "old-man frankenstein"....70 years old and in a wheel chair. As a teenager we tortured the hell out of him, and he threw **** and yelled at us. One day he was getting into his van and fell out of his chair...none of my friends where near me (read "no peer-pressure") and I decided to help....he resisted, and called me names, but i made sure he got back in his chair...it took a while, but he ended up being one of the coolest guys I ever knew, and in the end we both found our reasons for being ***** to each other.

 

[65sixbanger]

Well we arent going to do anything about the dent... I was welding at school today and I looked at the right time to see him driving through the parking lot putting a letter on a different truck (football player). I noticed he F-ed up the whole side of his truck trying to damage mine. I forgot to add that he was the root of my 2nd speeding ticket. Cop was standing behind a mailbox and got me with a radar going 27 in a 20 while I was in my '65 (no speedo ). Cop said he called complaining about the speeders, Oh well though.

Anyways... Hopefully this whole thing is over. Before I told my friends about the guy I stressed the importance that we were leaving him be...
Thanks

 

[oldmisterbill]

Sorry guys
I have spent 2 hrs reading this ! I am flabbergasted. Thanks Mel for reminding me that I am a Christian just before I write this. To some of you -I think I may sound like Edgar Allen Poe for a bit (if some of you are intelligent enough to know who he is or how he writes).
Mel "Sad situation. Jesus teaches us to turn the other cheek and love our enemies"Wonderful ,thanks Mel.
Timothyr1014 - Thanks for many of your comments. you make sense !

91IDI "Now your set up is different bc you have a crazy vet."
Sure is funny isn't it ! How did he get to be "crazy"?

"He may decide you are a serious threat to himself or his property and take you out."
There may be some truth to this-The government did "Program" him

"The guy carries a gun and is suffering from shellshock we think from the war, what the hell should I do?"
Easy don't harrass him -why would you want to push is buttons? Do you enjoy
altifications?

"a vet and a Marine (even though he isn't acting like one right now) so he will have no problem using that gun." Why hasn't he used it yet?

"First off, quit pushing his buttons. The guy is apparently in a sad state to begin with, it is "like teasing a little kid".
Thanks most of your post was good,But why did it need a negative comment thrown in?

"Mentally ill"
I guess it doesn't take a professional to diagnose "mentally ill" with so little investigation of "the nut" in question"


"All this vet crap is just that. Men are men respect him enough to leave him alone and ask he do the same" Truth

Oh almost forgot, he is 50 and still lives with his mom alone Maybe he wants to be near his mom if she needs him!! Maybe she needs him. Maybe it not your business who he lives with.

My thoughts
Ever heard of -being spit on for because U served, by the people who you served?
Ever seen a person with Shell shock?
Ever had signs stuck in your face with "Baby killer" on them?
Ever wake up when you have just got home to hear your family discussing how to deal with you?
Do you want to be stereotyped by thousands of people who put you in a group classification because of thier own ignorance?
Ever been told you arn't crazy "you just need to be reprogrammed by the same people who programmed you?
Ever wonder if you even want to go home to the country you were so loyal too?
Ever been scared enough to mess ur britchers?
Ever think being scared was a sign of a coward. Yet you were still scared! & still functioned?
Ever loved your country and all its people "that much"
Ever feel like you could kill with no remorse but God intervened to remind you of who you are? Not what you are trained to be?
Jester -"we're the crazy Vets" Note the S on the end. meaning "US" More then 1! Plural!!.

Gee I guess I don't how to say all I want to say!! Maybe how to say it!!
Now think about it -I can tell you a lot about these feelings-( not saying how many of these I have experienced) But I hope you can read between the lines. I am so dissapointed in so many of you guys here. But I still love you all!

 

[Wanderer-rrorc]

Sorry guys
I have spent 2 hrs reading this ! I am flabbergasted.
Gee I guess I don't how to say all I want to say!! Maybe how to say it!!
Nowthink about it -I can tell you a lot about these feelings-But I hope you can read between the lines. I am so dissapointed in so many of you guys here. But I still love you all!

Bill...you know whats funny....I didnt read this till AFTER I PM'd you...Im gonna copy that PM for these guys...

Bill had asked me to elaborate on "shell shocked father" for him...

my Dad was a terrible father...physicaly and emotionaly abusive to his wife and 6 children...my mom couldnt get her tubes tied (no more babies) after child number 4 because he was afraid she would "run around on him since she couldnt get pregnant"...2 more kids later..we severly struggled as a family in the 80's..

heres what I sent Mr. Bill.. (edited for language)

"first of all..let me THANK YOU for what you gave for your country...your entire generation doesnt get the respect you DESERVE!

my father didnt see any action as he was a photograper/media/secretary from the little he talked about..he did duty as a duc-n-half driver and guarded some prisoners at one time (unknown if VC or US individuals)..

it is known that he got lost and went missing for a week and never talks about it...even to my mother (his wife of 25 years)

he had many medical problems as he reached his 40's..adult diabetis (unknown in our family history)..high blood pressure and hypertension (family history)..he fought with his sugar levels and diet all his life untill he died of renal failure in 2003..my parents had been divored for 10yrs by then...it was nasty when it ended..stalking,harrassment and constant fear...my mine and sisters weddings were not listed in the local papers and my daugters birth announcement was also withheld from the fear that he would show up..

he was finally diagnosed when I was under 10yrs old as being highly paranoid with dimentia and had a violent streak that would pop at a seconds notice..
over the course of my childhood he spent probably 3 months in VA centers trying to help with his mental status...and at least a month in jail for assulting my mother and another 3 for assulting my youngest sister and breaking her arm and a concusion..

I can remember when he was stresed at a project he would sometimes spout statements and since I was the only one that could deal with him I got to hear them...the "baby killers"..being spit on if he was in uniform...having my aunts bring him cloths so he could change when he got off the plane...talks of having us boys sent to canada so we couldnt be drafted....

he wasnt proud of his service..but we lived near rickenbacker (airbase) as it was being closed and the trips there for airshows he would walk proud with a sense that he had done his duty..but anyplace else he wouldnt seem like that...

it was tough...we had other fathers that were Vietnam vets..they tried to talk to him..get him to join in with thier legal fights for VA rights and to get them to admit the things Agent Orange did to people..but he was leery of EVERYONE...

he never did get along with any adult males..even older teenagers he treated with serious dislike...

Ive lived around and worked with guys that were in the service...with what I grew up dealing with..I gave them the respect and understanding they deserved...even when they were having a bad day and just needed to vent the anger....

alot of their hatred and anger is finding out that the war was a joke (being the US and USSR using the vietnemese as pawns and nothing really being proven)..

even the people that point out that it wasnt a "war" get an a**-chewin from me...the guys that Ive worked along side will mention things that happen..when I relate my fathers experiance with the compassion I have for him..they will sometimes relax and tell me a little more (I dont ask them to..I dont judge the things they did because they were told to)...but mostly they know I understand and respect them...

its tough...alot of kids dont understand why their dads an "a**hole"...or why that old guy next door is the way he is....sometimes its what he's tryin to forget that makes him seem odd..... "








thats it...you dont know what happened...never will..they WILL NOT talk about the real terrible stuff..its to awful to relive...

Compassion..and understanding go a long way...they dont need your forgivness..just the thanks they never got..God will forgive them when its their time (at least I pray he does)...


I can say my father was a rotten *******...he was terrible in every way..mean..hatefull..scared and vicious...and I always feared being of being a father because of how he treated his kids...

Im a father of 3 now...my oldest thinks I walk on water..my other 2 are only 5 months old...they will probably think the same thing...my wife and all our friends and family think I am amazing..I help..work for whatever they need...love them all more than I love myself..(gimme a min...got dusty in here)....

I took all the things my dad did...and SWORE I never would do them...and sofar I've only ever done one thing he did...thats to LOVE my children...I just learned from him how NOT to show it...

its harder to hug them that hit them..
its harder to argue with them than ignore them..
its harder to UNDERSTAND them than just assert MY demands on them..
its harder to SHOW them how to be a good person rather than yell at them to be.

the Vietnam vet wasnt hugged when he was scared..he was hit and told to keep doing his job..
the Vietnam vet grew up hearing that "men dont cry"...so he didnt..
the Vietnam vet did what he was told..all his life..did nothing WRONG..and was punnished...

it wasnt fair...because I was told the SAME thing by a Vietnam vet...but I felt the same way he did as a kid...that its ok to cry..its ok to be scared..its ok to want a hug from someone (even total strangers)...we now understand that a man is just a man...our skin is as vulnerable as anyone else...our heart can be wounded without a scratch...our minds can take only so much...

they say humans need some basic things...
Water
Food
Shelter....but they forget...we need one more thing...

LOVE...which is anything from friendship to family..but that someone CARES about us...that we are NEEDED and THOUGHT about...they teach that in wilderness survival..that you dont give UP...you have to think about the people who love you..to keep going..so you can see them again...


wow...didnt think this was gonna affect me so much...Im gonna head to sleep..but im gonna stop and kiss the forehead of all my children...and cuddle up with my wife...so that I can feel the arms of the people that LOVE ME!..