Twas the night before Christmas (a diesel parody)
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the truck
All the fluids were frozen, the injectors were stuck,
The glow plugs were chilled and the turbo stone-cold,
This weather was frightful if I may be so bold, ...
The snowdrift was piled sky-high on the hood,
As I tossed to the fire a fresh load of wood,
My good wife and I settled in for some rest
But 'twas not long-lived, yet perhaps for the best
"What's that!" I declared with a roar
And no sooner than said came a knock at the door,
I arose from my chair soon to be slumber's bed
And there on the porch was the Big Man in red!
"I'm stuck" spoke he, "can you give me a pull?
"I said I may be stupid but I ain't no fool
So I rushed to the truck as I buttoned my flap
I opened the door and threw out my strap
One move and the key was set firm without strife
With one quick turn that mighty Ford Diesel came roaring to life!
The rattle and roar of that powerful eight
The hot blast of smoke shaking the frozen fruit cake
The reindeer were nervous and in awe of such might
But they knew that Ford Diesel would be saving their night
I eased in the clutch and I dropped her in gear
The T-case in low as I backed her in near
One end to the hitch and the other to sleigh
The tow strap was set as the snow wiped away
He cried out "I'm not sure, cause that old sleigh is heavy
But I trust you, cause I see you're not driving a Chevy"
I gave her some fuel and four tires did spin
Then they grabbed with the strength of the truck I was in
Ol' Ford started smoking and pulling so hard
That I ended up halfway 'cross my neighbor's yard
As I backed off the fuel and gave a proud shout
He declared that "No Dodge could have pulled that sleigh out!"
He thanked me profusely and the reindeer did bow
To the Mighty Ford Diesel, which was idling now
For they knew in their hearts that without this fueled might
That there would be no Christmas this shivering night
He climbed in his seat and with a wave of his hand
Those reindeer lurched forward across the snowed land
"I thank you again my dear newly-found friend
For your hand and your heart kept this night from its end
And later this eve, warm and snug in my lodge
I'll be thanking the Lord, that you did not buy a Dodge!"
