You sure as hell want to put the load bearing washer on the flex plate or in a short time the flex plate will crack.
Crank hub--Flexplate--Washer--Bolts in that order. If you have the 1" spacer, that goes next to the crank hub.
Crank hub--Flexplate--Washer--Bolts in that order. If you have the 1" spacer, that goes next to the crank hub.