Ha... here's my email to this guy:
http://richmond.craigslist.org/cto/1669082694.html
Dear Steve of San Fransisco Bay Area,
I wanted to inquire about your truck which you have listed at the following link:
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/cto/1668376836.html
Please tell me how much you want for the motor you took out in an attempt to get more money than either are worth alone, much less together? I'd really like to have a truck that runs right from the get go for the asking price, which you list as $2500. You fail to mention the mileage, too, which concerns me. So, I will assume a standard 12,000 mile year times the 24 years which gives me a grand total of... and I'm no mathematician, but I think this number it right... 288,000 miles. Now, let's play Check Kelly Blue Book!
Here's some points to ponder, Steve:
1. KBB doesn't list vehicles for years prior to 1990 currently.
2. A private seller on the KBB links has listed their standard 1986 F250 XL with 264000 miles and in GOOD condition, WITH A MOTOR, at $3995.
3. Your vehicle is, judging by the pictures and the fact that you're trying to hock the motor separately, is NOT in GOOD condition. Poor, at best.
Let's continue, Steve, because this is where it gets fun.
It's unclear whether your hood is in good shape because it appears that you have placed the guard piece strategically to cover the possibility the hood is bent up. This is further supported by the fact that the hood is not seated properly. Now, you may argue that it's simply because you have the hood popped open, just not all the way open. Perhaps it doesn't shut all the way because you took the motor out and there's something in the way... like all that expensive air. Either way, I may suggest you close the hood completely before taking pictures, and don't mention the missing engine. You might find some poor sap who buys it anyway... just make sure you don't share permanent contact info with the buyer. Based on the truck, they may be the type of southern boy with a grudge against you Rice-a-Roni types in your cable cars and rainbow bumper stickers.
... wait, please tell me you DON'T have a rainbow bumper sticker on this thing? If so, knock at least $3000 off the asking price for replacing the chrome bumper.
Which, brings me to another set of points.
1. "has Gear Vendors overdrive manual transmission valued at approx. $4900. new, the overdrive efficiency adds approx. six miles per gallon" This is a FALSE statement. One, the value of that setup is at most $3000. And, it DOES NOT add 6 mpg. Nice try though, slick.
2. "A commercial grade auxiliary fuel tank is a real plus for any heavy travel" This is a factory option. But, I commend you for your efforts to be a poor salesman!
3. "Has expensive aluminum alloy wheels" which may need to be replaced at some point, and saying they're EXPENSIVE is NOT a selling point! Additionally, these rims come FACTORY STOCK on these trucks... so I refuse to believe you put these on aftermarket. I will not pay you for your expensive rims. I'm sorry.
4. "...extra heavy duty chrome rear bumper with step up. It has the long running boards for easy in and out" so far everything you've mentioned is a factory option. I'm not impressed yet.
Here's where I get really impressed though:
1. "This truck is a heavy duty rig set up for travel out in the boom docks" It COULD be a heavy duty rig, if you left the engine in it, genius!
2. "the cowboy roof lights lets people know your not some flat lander" bothers me on many levels:
1. What do you know about cowboys, other than your San Fransisco bedroom fetishes?
2. What do you mean "flatlander?" Because last time I checked, much of the midwest... you know, where COWBOYS traditionally ran their ranches... IS FLATLAND!
3. And finally..."This truck was accessorized with the intention of reliable, efficient travel for gold panning/dredging in the gold country, but not limited too"
1. Accessorizing is something you do when you're looking to get all gussied up (Cowboy term for what you San Fransisco kids call 'dressing up'), not something you do to a big, nasty, hippie crushing F250... especially when it all comes stock anyway.
2. Reliable, Efficient travel REQUIRES AN ENGINE, doesn't it?!
3. Why would anyone still want to pan for gold?
4. Where is the gold country? Name a single place on the map that hasn't already been claimed by some large company with lots of "NO TRESPASSING" signs!
5. Why can't I drive this truck to Limited Too? Maybe I WANT to go there, did you ever think that maybe selling this truck with that specific exclusion clause would kinda kill if for the hard working Cowboy who just wants to buy his little girl a good pair of pants? Or even that not so hard working hippie guy who just wants to wear his favorite skinny jeans? Or, did you have a bad experience and you don't want us to find out about your nonreciprocating love affair with the store manager? ... You were the catcher, weren't you, Steve. Are you sure your nickname isn't Mike Piazza?
6. PS... "BOOM docks?" *** is that? How's about, BOONDOCKS. It's an actual word, you should look it up. Dictionaries are wonderful things, Mike... I mean Steve.
My conclusion is that I will offer you $1 only for this truck, since I will have to perform the following to get it ready to drive in public:
* Replace back bumper to get rid of the rainbow sticker.
* PUT THE ENGINE BACK IN, STEVE!
* Misc. standard checking and maintenance.
Please let me know if my offer of $1 will suffice, and I will come pick it up.
Thanks, Mike!
... I'm sorry guys, I just HAD to light into this [nice person]. lol