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Jessi's cancer the short version

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by typ4, Mar 25, 2020 at 9:33 AM.

  1. typ4

    typ4 Supporting Member Supporting Member

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    Dec 24, 2005
    I really appreciate all of the kindness.I need to put this down so here goes

    July 12 2019, I get a call from Her, Jessi, That her biopsy and scan results came back. Cancer, Adinocarcinoma, stomach, stage 4 no way to operate.
    Her fiance says we need to get married so you have good insurance, turns out this was the only nice thing he did as he's all about money. Jerk.

    Chemo is started, very high doses, really tears her up. Blood counts get wacky because she cant keep food down so cant get chemo on the 2 week schedule. Turns out it wouldn’t have mattered.

    Wife goes there in September, takes care of her, food, appointments, so on.
    I fly out for a week in sept, have good visits, we drive home.

    Mid November She gets a new scan, mass "seems" to be shrinking. I rejoice with her but dont get my hopes up because the other shoe always drops.
    Sure enough Mid January rolls around, new scan, in lymph nodes, spreading to liver and more. ****.
    She tells me, " I want my mom". tears. Lots
    We book a flight, Feb 6th Wife gets there, calls me in tears, because she lost her Mom to lung cancer and can see where this is going. ****, Im here working, and on the 26th she calls and is saying the Doctor mentions hospice. I get in truck, haul ass to Wisconsin. 28 hrs, took the dog as we have no care for her.

    I walk in, hug Jessi and thank god the nurse came in to check her because I just lost it. Didn’t want her to see it.

    Had some little conversations for a few days, she was legally maxed out on pain meds and they weren't taking it away,. Dr comes in, takes us to family room and we get detailed about hospice.
    Keep in mind Her mom has been there almost a month day and night and her husband was only there 2 nights during all this. Calls one time screaming at her that he cant find some tax doc. AND when I told to get his ass there because decisions had to be made about hospice and a DNR, He said," Ive been on the phone with insurance and hospice is covered so ok". WTF you going to prolong her pain over MONEY.

    It didn’t hit me till later, good thing or I wouild be in jail.
    So Jessi and I talk, hug, say some form of good bye. And she says to me, And this kills me,,, "dont tell Mom but I cant fight anymore".
    I have no problem with this but the fact she knew just destroyed me. Still is.
    Hospice came in wed the 4th about 4 pm, she passed 7:45 am the 5th.
    RIP my beautiful Baby Girl.

    Thanks . Sorry for the book but I needed this.

    BTW, her husband called the cops THAT NIGHT and wanted to report her car stolen because we didn’t bring it back. After a phone convo that I would bring it to the house Friday AM.
    Theres more but suffice it to say he's a piece of shit and dead to us.
    And don't say he’s grieving, Her friends says this sounds just like him.
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2020 at 11:20 AM
    92F350CC, Jason1377, gandalf and 2 others like this.
  2. Randy Bush

    Randy Bush Full Access Member

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    Jan 2, 2019
    Great Falls, Mt
    So very sorry for your lose , brings tears reading this. I pray God will give you and your wife comfort during this time.
    bbjordan, DaveBen and Dane Rickford like this.
  3. subway

    subway be nice to the admin :D

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    Oct 4, 2006
    York PA
    As far as the "husband" he sounds like a real piece of work. I believe that in life everyone has a part to play. If him taking her on with his insurance kept her with you even one day longer, i would count that as a win. Hopefully now you can drop him and part ways.

    I am sorry to hear this story about your little girl, I cant imagine going through this with one of my children. God bless you and your wife.
    DaveBen likes this.
  4. DaveBen

    DaveBen Supporting Member Supporting Member

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    Sep 29, 2010
    Ukiah, Ca
    My sister is dealing with a REAL POS for her husband. I can see dealing with this kind of situation. Not looking forward to this. RIP Jessi. My prayers are with you!
    Dane Rickford likes this.
  5. gandalf

    gandalf Senior Member

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    Jan 21, 2005
    Thank you, Russ. I know that was hard to write, but I understand that it was necessary and that it helped you. It was also hard to read. I don't like seeing my friends hurting so badly.

    You brought me to tears, again, knowing what you and Michelle are going through. I've been sitting here for a while, staring at the screen, trying to think what to write. Really, there is nothing that can say what I want to say.

    I think of you, Michelle, and Jessi, and then I think of my two daughters, and I begin to tremble. I truly don't think I'd have the strength to go through what you and Michelle have.

    I'd drive up there to give you both a big hug, something that would comfort all three of us, but I'm under house arrest, by both the governor and Alison. Honestly, I'm more scared of Alison than I am of the governor.

    Enough of rambling. Know that I love you both, and support you both. Give Michelle a big, long, tight hug for me.
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2020 at 5:42 PM
  6. 90Ford73

    90Ford73 Registered User

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    May 30, 2016
    My thoughts and prayers go to you and your family typ4, I teared up reading this.

    Fte is my home forum, but I browse often enough to know what’s going on. You guys are no strangers to me, but I am to you
  7. aggiediesel01

    aggiediesel01 Full Access Member

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    Dec 29, 2016
    Houston, TX
    My heart hurts for you and your family. So sorry it ended this way, no parent should have to deal with the loss of their child. I can only hope that now that it's done you all will be able to find peace and heal a little. God bless you and your family.
  8. Danielle

    Danielle I'm allowed to buy a Jeep! Hawhaw Supporting Member

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    Jul 7, 2011
    Dirty Jersey
    I'm so glad her mom was able to be there for that month, and knowing what an emotionally unavailable c--- her husband is, I am glad he wasn't too much in the way of that time that Michelle got with Jessi.

    You guys remind me of my own parents, they would (and will, and do) drop every single thing, no matter the consequences to themselves for us, their children. Some people call that spoiled, but their love and knowing I have that support out there in the world has made me stronger.

    I imagine Jessi has grown up similarly, a stronger woman because her parents were there for her no matter the distance between you. I like to imagine she never knew this horrid other side of the man she married, and I hope she went to her heaven at peace.

    I hope for your poor heart's sake that this is the last you need to deal with that person and you and Michelle can quietly put your hearts back together the little bit you can.
    chillman88 and gandalf like this.

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