I have to vent!

[LUCKY_LARUE60]

Mel, I am sooooooooo surprised in your ranting about your son, just shake your head and fix the problem fo him BECAUSE HE IS YOUR SON.
I gave my youngest son a 92 F350 IDI about a year ago because his car laid down. He calls me saying that the truck is knocking and smokeing bad, he shut it down and now it won't start. So I drive a 120 miles to see what is wrong because the truck was so dependable. I get there and he tells me the problem started after he added some oil so I pull the dip stick and it is about 2 inches OVER FULL. I drained 2 and half gal of oil out.
I could of raised hell with him but what would be the point, I just explained how to check the oil and took him out to lunch "BECAUSE HE IS MY SON AND THAT IS WHAT I AM SUPPOSE TO DO"
If I would have done this my dad would made me fell like I was less than a person, I swore that I would never treat anyone like that.

 

[MIDNIGHT RIDER]

Mel, I am sooooooooo surprised in your ranting about your son, just shake your head and fix the problem fo him BECAUSE HE IS YOUR SON.
I gave my youngest son a 92 F350 IDI about a year ago because his car laid down. He calls me saying that the truck is knocking and smokeing bad, he shut it down and now it won't start. So I drive a 120 miles to see what is wrong because the truck was so dependable. I get there and he tells me the problem started after he added some oil so I pull the dip stick and it is about 2 inches OVER FULL. I drained 2 and half gal of oil out.
I could of raised hell with him but what would be the point, I just explained how to check the oil and took him out to lunch "BECAUSE HE IS MY SON AND THAT IS WHAT I AM SUPPOSE TO DO"
If I would have done this my dad would made me fell like I was less than a person, I swore that I would never treat anyone like that.

This is the best advice yet.


My father and grandfather were both very close to each other, each one bragging on the other and denying all of the many wrongs they were always commiting.

This admiration and affection stopped when it came to me; both of them despised me and resented my existence.

I was treated worse than a no-account inlaw my whole life.

They were the absolute last people I could turn to in time of dire need.

If I had a problem, taking it to either of them only made more problems.

I soon learned that it was easier to pay a stranger for help than to ask them for it.


Despite all that, I somehow learned a lot more than either of them ever did or ever will, about life, mechanics, education, or anything.


Being older does not make anyone wiser; one must have it in them to be wise in the first place.


When I married my wife and acquired a wonderful step-son, I made it a point to see that he never ever had to go through the hell that I have had to.

 

[Dieselcrawler]

my pops taught me most of the street smarts i know. the 4 years of tech school and 2 years of college were just the icing on the cake. and boy do i love cake.


but i do sorta see whats u are talking about. that night at carlisle he didnt really seam to worried about his truck making it home.

and if u need, i have a 7.3 head and filter bottom sitting in my shop.

 

[burtcheca]

This is the best advice yet.


My father and grandfather were both very close to each other, each one bragging on the other and denying all of the many wrongs they were always commiting.

This admiration and affection stopped when it came to me; both of them despised me and resented my existence.

I was treated worse than a no-account inlaw my whole life.

They were the absolute last people I could turn to in time of dire need.

If I had a problem, taking it to either of them only made more problems.

I soon learned that it was easier to pay a stranger for help than to ask them for it.


Despite all that, I somehow learned a lot more than either of them ever did or ever will, about life, mechanics, education, or anything.


Being older does not make anyone wiser; one must have it in them to be wise in the first place.


When I married my wife and acquired a wonderful step-son, I made it a point to see that he never ever had to go through the hell that I have had to.

Your story touched my heart.
I grew up without a father, he left my Mom, my baby sister (6 months at the time) and me (2 years old) with no income or way to feed us and pay for anything. At that time we lived in a country house with no running water (inside plumbing) and I had to haul the water from far away. I had to help my Mom since I was a little boy.

I'm sure Mel's kids are blessed to have a father that can teach them so many things. I try to teach my son all I could but he is more the intellectual kind of person, now he is 32 and lives in Miami Beach. My daughter helps me a lot in our farm, she's 12. It's her farm, her house, her business, I tell her all the time, when she is working with me. I just want a little piece of the property in a corner at the back where she knows I want to be buried.

Sometimes I get worry when my wife and my daughter are not paying attention to the warnings I'm giving about something with the trucks or the farm stuff. I think the day will come that if they don't pay attention to what I'm saying something bad can happen.

I'm sorry for talking so much about me. It's just your story touched my heart.

Burt.

 

[fields_mj]

My dad could have told you the same thing about me too. He had to drive up to Chicago to pick me up when my clutch went out, and I was living in southern Indiana. Then he had to loan me his truck so that I could make it home for our neighbors funeral two days later.

It's a combination of being burnt out at school, and not being used to having a regular job and a family that depends on it's income. Priorities at this age are all up in the air.

I hear a lot of people comment about wishing they could go back to school again. How those days were so much easier. Not me. I graduated with a BSME, and while it was a worth while investment of my time and effort. There were things that I enjoyed about that time in my life; like the friends I made, and all the shooting I did. If I had to do it again, I would do the same, but I would NOT go back and do it a second time. None of the guys I graduated with would do it a second time either. We worked our rear ends off. 4 hours of sleep was common, and all nighters was the norm. Not because we liked to party or waited till the last minute either. It was really that hard, and really took that much time. We spent several hours a night, every night working on labs, doing home work, studying for tests, writing papers, working on projects ect. I knew people who were business and music majors at other schools, and they partied most of the time. Not so for an engineering major. No time for a social life, just school. Tell him to keep up the good work, and schedule a time that the two of you can work on it together and have a little father-son time. If your family is like ours was, those days have almost come to an end, and you'll both enjoy the time together. Until then, the truck stays home because it really isn't road worthy.

Just my 2 bits,
Mark

 

[GOOSE]

Well, guess who had to take his girl's Honda Odyssey to work today because his truck gelled up? You got it, me!! Did not look at the weather, put additative in the fuel, put it in the garage, plug it in, nothing.... and I paid for it. So as Forrest Gump says, "It happens."

I went to college for 6 months and did not fair as well as Matthias. My parents wanted me to go to college, work, keep my vehicle on the road, acrew the debt college can put on a person, and everything else you can think of, at the age of 18.

Matthias has the responsibility of an education on his shoulders and is doing a fine job as you stated. Break his balls? I would expect nothing less. Realize however that his grades earns him the pleasure of rocking out to his guitar, let him enjoy it. He needs you in his corner to fulfill this obligation to education that he is embarking upon. I hope I have the humbleness to suck it up and just help my son or daughter make the problem go away when this time in their life arrives. Good luck Mel.

 

[Brimmstone]

Take a deep breath and remember the main thing about college is any street smarts they had going in will be buried in all the BS they get force fed in the school. Give him a few years out in the real world where he'll find Dad was a little more on the ball than he thinks. Let him make his mistakes, allow him to deal with the consequences from the small ones but be there when he makes the big ones as a guiding voice to lead him back towards the right direction. If things look to be a point where steeping in is needed do so. He may not appreciate it now but when he is older and has a chance to reflect he'll see just how much it meant that you were there to help when he needed it.

 

[BioFarmer93]

I never shed a tear when the old man died, seems like he was always more disappointed in me than anything else. Want Matthias to miss you when your gone? Then go listen to him play for a while, tell him how he has improved over the last year, put your arm around his neck and say "come on son, let's go install that heater." And be grateful to God that you have such a good kid. Besides, he'll probably end up being a rich rock star with an engineering degree and a soft spot in his heart for keeping his dad supplied with antique diesel parts....

 

[david85]

For what its worth, I can give you guys a vewpoint of this turned on its head.

I'm not a father (no offence, but I'm in no hurry either), but I am the son instead and its up to me to keep the family vehicles running safely. it kinda sorta happened gradually but here I am.

There was a time when I might have chewed my dad out for not checking the oil or the tire pressure in his truck as often as he should or paying closer attention to when things start sounding off. These days he barely has the time to even pop the hood on his truck and I check things over once in a while (some of you might remember my recent work on his GMC involving a new timing chain and an injector knock over on the chevy 6.2/6.5 section).

It used to bother me that he would so easily overlook such an obvious thing but it doesn't anymore. Why? Because he is family and I would do anything to help the man that raised me. There are plenty of other reasons, but when it comes down to it, thats the only one that really matters.

I won't presume to know what goes on with the rest of you guys since I haven't met any of you face to face, but from what I read here I will hazard one risky impression;

Mel,

If Matt is half as smart and motivated as everyone here says he is, then hold on to times like this when you can help out because no matter how mad you are now, you will miss this when it gone. As for when you may not be able to help anymore, you'd be surprised how fast us spoiled rotten sons can learn and straiten up when we have to.

I'm sorry if anyone feels I've gone too far but thats my take on it.

 

[typ4]

I laughed and cried all the way thru this, Some of you have met my Son, way smart and mechanically talented , and even he brain farts some simple stuff.

Mel, you dont need to know multiplication tables, thats what calculators are for.
And to all , we know Mel loves his son, he did say he was venting at the beginning, and that is ok.It needs to be done so the top of the head doesnt blow off from keeping things bottled up.

 

[BigRigTech]

A swift kick in the **** or a searing pain in one of my ears is what I would have got........Mom was usually worse than dad for laying down the sentence and carrying it out.

 

[oldmisterbill]

All this has bought to mind my brother & his stepson. He used to complain about him all the time. Leslie had no mechanical aptitude-he would rather walk then learn to fix his car.Les was an eagle scout and class president in his senior year. I told my brother "don't worry Les will make it with his brain,not his hands like we did". I think he resented Les -not sure. After college Les started at the bottom and wound up as N East regional manager of a big national chain of cookie stores. You all know the name. He bought a condo 2 new cars.He told me if one broke down he could jump in the other -call the garage & Go to work. My brother thought it was stupid to own 2 new cars,to own a condo when you didn't own the land it was on. Les was becoming very wealthy and investing. I told my brother none of this mattered he was already more successful then we were.Just that he was different than us. They wound up not being close -Les died at 30 years old from a contagious disease. They both suffered because of what got between them. Les Will always remain in my heart -He loved his uncle Bill. What a tragedy!!

 

[oldmisterbill]

Amazing I just realized ,I was venting also. It was good for me -because it released a lot of anger & Pain. now for the reast of the story .Les died of aids my brother stayed clear of him,and was angry because he didn't practice "smart ***" I got closer to Les.he was so full of life with such a good heart. I remember when I was on leave B4 going to Nam Les would wait for my dailey visit,he was about 6 years old then. Once again the lord has blessed me.

 

[typ4]

Bill that was obviously something you needed to deal with, hopefully your brother is ok with it all in retrospect. Life is too short, we all need to vent , my Dad has less gray hair than me.

 

[icanfixall]

I must be venting all the time... I don't have any grey hair but sure want some... Its a curse looking young as I do... I have tried to "earn" my grey but its just not coming .... Mel is blessed to have great son's and so is Russ. I think thats from being such great Dads....